Sunday night

Well another day closer to Tad coming, I'll be happy about that. It is kind of lonely, but I am getting my routine down. I get up, have little roll & some kind of green juice (I don't know what it is, but it's good), then walk to the orphanage, play awhile with Will, walk back, go to the internet cafe for a couple hours, walk back to the orphanage, play some more, walk back so I can be back to the hotel area before dark, read for one hour, have dinner, and then the internet cafe for another hour or so, and then if I'm ambitious watch a movie or read. I've already read 3 of my 6 books and I've only been gone since Wednesday. I should be able to quote them verbatim by the time I get home.

I've started to wear my iPod on my walks to and from, I haven't seen any other iPods here, and I think most people haven't either as they generally didn't look at me walking, but now they all look. Either that or I'm looking smoking hot from 3 days of exercise -HA! It makes me wish I brought my sneaks though, I'd be ready for another half marathon by the time I got back if I had.

I slept 12 hours last night -woke up once or twice, but went back to sleep. I finally feel caught up, thank you Sominex. The dogs also weren't barking last night and I think that helped.

Yesterday afternoon the orphanage gate was locked so I didn't get to get in to visit. This morning it was too, but the lady in the apartment next door was able to yell to someone inside to come and unlock it. I wrote a note with a time on it and they must have understood because they were watching for me this afternoon. This morning I tried to see how Will would play with other kids, and he doesn't really. When I am there, he wants to be held standing up (me, not him) and gets very upset if I try to sit with him....I'm not sure how that will work on the airplane. Any one feel like ponying up to pay for a charter flight home? I bet the other passengers on our return flight will wish they had. In any case, I think he has a hard time seeing anything to really be interested in it. He wants to be held, but not really cuddled if that makes sense. I fed him his dinner, some kind of cereal porridge or something -not banana thank goodness. Some of the kids eat sandwiches, the littler ones each this porridge. To feed them goes like this: you sit on the couch, chair or whatever, the little one comes up between your legs facing you, has a cloth diaper kind of thing wrapped around their front, and then their face kind of is eye level with the bowl and you spoon it in with a grown-up spoon. In the time it took me to feed Will, the caregiver fed three other kids, and got sandwiches for the rest.

They don't really have any toys to play with. They have a bunch of stuffed animals that have seen better days, and they don't really like them. The times I've been there, the only other toys I've seen are one top, and a plastic telephone handle. They all want to be held, and there is a lot of crying going on. It is very hard to not go over to try to comfort someone who is crying, as someone is almost always crying and as soon as I put down Will, he starts crying too.

It's pretty hard going there - and really hard going there alone. I haven't seen the other couple since that first night in Tirana, I'm not sure where they are as they should be staying in the same hotel as I am, and as I would think they would be also visiting the orphanage. Maybe something came up and they aren't here yet? Or maybe they are taking the bus and that's why I don't see them walking. The younger children are on different floor -maybe that is why I haven't seen them at the orphanage? I tried to ask if they had been there, but I'm never sure if I am understood.

The absolutely most frustrating thing about being here is not being able to ask questions about Will. It for sure would not have helped for me to be staying in Tirana, that actually would have been worse as then I would have gotten merely a glimpse with the little bit of time we'd have had on the trips down here. What I want is an American doctor to look at him and tell me what they think. Someone that I know I can trust (I know, mark that down, you heard me talk about 1. wanting a doctor and 2. trusting one, all in one sentence). I am worried that if he has some sort of ear infection and we take him on a plane, he could have permanent damage done to his hearing. Anyone know a pediatrician that is free to fly to Albania? We'd pay for it and I'm not kidding.

I brought my iPod in to let the kids hear it tonight. There are maybe 12 in the room. There were about 8 that were all clustered around and kept saying what must mean "my turn," or "again," or something. They liked it. Will HATED it, wouldn't let me get it near his ears -so maybe he does have an ear infection. He was also not one of the ones that came around trying to see what I had, even before I tried to have him listen to it. I'm worried about him.

Maybe I am being paranoid, it will help to have Tad here. He's much better at seeing the forest, I get caught up in the trees. He leaves in three days, gets here in 5 and I can't wait.

One thing -if someone at some point before we come home could go to my house and box up all the stuff in my china cabinet and move it and the cabinet to the basement laundry (slash storage of all the extra furniture) room that would be most helpful. Will throws everything that he can get ahold of. He throws hard.

I hope Jordan had a good birthday party - sounds like everyone had fun! I'm sorry we weren't there. I hope Griffy is behaving himself. I heard about the Kimmes' and it makes me really sad. I feel bad for their families and Joe Sr. Makes me worry about Dad & Rick too. Did Dad get the track?