Back from Albania

We've just recently returned from another trip to Albania. We went from September 22 to October 1st and Tad's mom Nancy accompanied us. It was a great trip and all went very smoothly. We were able to arrange for our transportation and hotels with Hope for the World, with whom we have been sponsoring Juri during the past year. Roger & Cherie Mullins are in Georgia and they do a great job. They put us in contact with Perparim (who I met last year with the Herrings who adopted little Viola who is doing great by the way). Perparim met us at the airport and he and the driver took us to Vlore right away when we arrived. We got there about 4:30 or so on the 23rd and pretty much just went right to sleep. We again stayed at the Hotel Pavaresia which was great. We got to see the Bledi and the same hotel staff we had gotten friendly with last year, which was fun.

A mission group from Illinios and Delaware (who we contacted through Hope for the World) was also going but arriving a day later and staying 2 days longer. Our next morning we went and visited Juri and the other children at the orphanage. Only Juri, Behari and Adisa were there from last year. Most of the same staff were still there and it was fun to see them too. These ladies do a great job taking care of all the kids! Albana (who also works for Hope for the World) met us there and gave us some updates: Oltsi was adopted into Canada, Alma and Abel were adopted to Italian couples, Matilda went back to her mother as did Paola, Jeni and Emi were moved to a different orphanage in Durres. Alma and Abel both have glasses now and I'm told that both are doing much better now that they can see properly.

Juri is much the same -still non-verbal, but less aggressive to some extent. He doesn't slap, kick or bite nearly as much. He likes to be held, but only if standing and still wants to run everywhere. He needs someplace with a big, big yard. We had him outside everyday and he loves to run and play on the merry-go-round and the slides. I think he would sit on the swing set if I would push him for hours.

Over the course of the past year, Albana took him to a couple of different doctors for his eyes. The first was in Vlora and there he was given some drops and a prescription for glasses which they did not get at that time. She also took him to Tirana to a specialist (we were concerned he might need surgery). She said that trip with him was very difficult-it was very hard to have him in the car for that length of time. It sounds like she had a lot of bites and bruises from the cab ride. (Can you imagine if he had to fly for 10 hours?) Anyway, the doctor was very kind and generous and did not charge for their time -which was wonderful. We are paying what we can to help with the costs and any little bit we can save helps a lot. The doctor said he doesn't need surgery but that we could have a brain scan done if we wanted. I'm not sure what it should/would show? While we were there we took the prescription to an optometrist and had some glasses made for him. We could tell that he could for sure see much better with the glasses on -hopefully they won't get broken! Tatiana (one of the caregivers whose home Juri stayed at for a short time) is pretty good with him. Juri seems to like her and listens to her somewhat -she can usually get him to keep them on. We're hoping for the best.

So while we were there we did some painting on the outside walls in the playground. Other members of the group were working on the shelters on the roof (where they dry the clothes), touching up the painting of the inside murals and repairing the jungle gym. They didn't want us to paint over the murals and paint new ones, and they didn't have very much paint, so we did what we could to clean it up and brighten it a bit with what we had.

The mission group was kind of funny -they stayed to themselves. When I had spoken with the minister before leaving I indicated that we'd like to join with them and do some stuff (just general fellowship, go to church with them, go to eat, etc.) but they pretty much did their own thing. In fact, they would just disappear around lunch time and most times we didn't even notice they had left until they were gone. They were friendly but like I said, kind of kept to themselves. We helped with what we could and when they ran out of paint for us, we just played with the kids. Which was great and I don't think the kids see all that many people so it might have been for the best anyway.

We brought over clothes, toys, candy, cookies and Nancy even managed to bring a tricycle in her luggage! The kids loved it -they played with that and the Big Wheel we sent over in May for Juri's birthday a lot. They ride them up and down the halls on the inside and outside.

We also saw a lot of Keti & Elidon, our friends that we met last year that run the internet cafe in the Riviera. They tell us that they might not have the lease for the place renewed in December -which would be a bummer as we love having that so close to the Pavaresia. The power was out a lot more this year (and at random times whereas last year they kind of always knew from 2-4 it would be out). It was handy to look out the hotel room balcony and be able to see if the light was on at the internet place (so we'd know the internet was working -no power, no internet). Anyway, we saw them a lot this year. Keti (who I thought worked for an Italian adoption agency actually works for that and something to do with youth in Vlora too -she knows everyone -we couldn't go anyplace without her knowing LOTS of people), anyway, Keti is friends with the optometrist who got us Juri's glasses made in just a few hours and for a reasonable price. We had a great dinner with them at a hotel down the beach by the tunnel. It was fun to see so many friendly faces again.

Tad's mom wanted to shop-she was looking for handicrafts and there weren't a lot of them for sale. I think she really enjoyed the kids and thought everyone was so nice. She also thought it was a beautiful country. It was good to have the time with her. She lives about 6 hours from us so we don't get to see her as often as we'd like.

There are a number of new babies at the orphanage. Dashnor, Arion, Berta, Teuta, Aldi and Taulant. Very cute. I think Berta is being adopted by a family in Italy. Aldi and Taulant are new to the orphanage. Of the kids in Juri's room, there are just four others. Behari and Adisa who I believe have family in Albania. Ermal who I couldn't get any information on and Adhi who I believe they said was the child of a woman by her sister's husband -but I couldn't tell if they were still involved or if he is up for adoption. Either way, they are all cute kids and I hope they find families soon.

It was very hard to leave again -but not nearly as hard as last year. At least this time we knew we couldn't take Juri home. Our same driver brought us back to Tirana for one night as we were leaving on the super early flight the next day. We stayed at the Stephen Center the last night. When we arrived we checked in and walked around looking for something to eat (Tad was seafooded out if you can believe that). I suggested we check the Stephen Center restaurant, but Tad was wanting something "different." After walking for an hour, not finding anything and ending up at the Stephen Center we decided to check out the menu -Tad thought it was the best thing ever. He was sooooo happy. They have everything there from Mexican, Chinese, American, and good food. The people there are very nice and the rooms are nice too. They have wireless internet which is good too.

And that's it -one long flight home (by the way those Lufthansa A-340's with the individual TV's are pretty sweet) via a couple of connections and here we are. Still trying to have a child join our family but very blessed in many other ways.

Getting ready for Juri's birthday

It's been a long time since I've updated this. We are home of course, and it has been a long winter. The first few months were just plain awful. We were both sick, tired and kind of in shock. I mean, how do you come home to a house with a room & clothes for a child that isn't there? To this day the bedroom door is closed and looks just as it did the day we left for Albania. It's just not something that I can face yet.

We spent a long time going back in forth with Bethany and a lawyer trying to decide what to do. Not only was this devasting emotionally & financially, we just couldn't imagine the thought of anyone else having to go through it. Most importantly, we were worried about Juri and what would happen to him. At first they refused to give us any information whatsoever on how he was doing, how his appointment went, what the plan was for him, etc. But they did keep telling us how they felt badly and wanted to do what they could to help....really? Anyway, long story short they agreed to give us all of our money back including travel expenses, they've supposedly put new procedures in place to help ensure that this doesn't happen to anyone else, and most importantly they agreed to keep us informed about Juri. They never did have the appointment that was supposed to be scheduled for the day we left. We kind of knew that though since no one at the orphanage knew anything about it, we figured they would if he was leaving for a few days.

They had a specialist evaluate him, and his summary was somewhat hard to read and understand, but it does sound like he has some major issues. Does this mean we did the right thing? Will I ever know that? Juri was also able to live in a family setting with one of the caregivers from the orphanage and her family for awhile -it's good to think of him out of there for a bit. They said he seems better in that circumstance but they didn't sound very positive about how permanent these changes would be. They don't seem to know what the long term plan is for him, if they are going to try to place him with another family, if he's no longer going to go to a Bethany family, if he is no longer available. It's frustrating.

We have, however, been able to keep in contact through some of the people that we met while we were there. Keti & Elidon (she works for the Italian adoption agency and he owns the computer place where I was twice a day) have sent us some emails and pictures of him since then. She said he may be adopted by an Italian family. We've sent a care package to them which included clothes, toys, candy, etc. for Juri as well. We've also sent a care package to Entela (one of the caregivers) and her family as they took us around Vlora on the one day we left the city. We included more clothes, toys, cakes, bubbles, etc. for Juri in that package as well.

We've been able to sponsor him through Hope for the World, which is a church out of Georgia who sponsors the Vlora orphanage. Albana works for them as does Perparim whom we met while in Albania. Through them we have had some updates and pictures as well. I have a big package that I am sending over to Juri for his birthday on May 5. He'll be three! We got him a Big Wheel (which Tad says he loved when he was that age) and I hope someone will put it together for him. We also filled the box with Girl Scout cookies, color & sticker books, crayons and a Twins T-shirt. It's wrapped in Cars wrapping paper under all the packaging materials. I hope he gets to open it. I wish I could have a picture of him opening it. I've asked to see if there is a way we can have them have a birthday party for him -we'll see. I hope he has a wonderful birthday ~ I'm sad because he should be here for it.

I've included more pictures from our last days in Vlora and then a couple pictures that we've been sent from Keti or Hope for the World.

Waving the white flag.

Tad is here, and that is good. Vlora is a very pretty city -I could see this place being huge with tourists someday. It is right on the coast, the water is a pretty blue and very clear. The people are all nice, friendly and helpful. There is a lot of building going on across the street from the beaches (condos, apartments, etc.) and you can imagine that buying property here will likely someday increase tons in value. I could see it being a cruise port someday. For now, it's pretty low-key. There are ferries to Italy and Greece, but we never got to try those out.

We went one day about 10 miles south of the city to have lunch and see some of the coast. That is it for the sightseeing though, too busy with everything else I guess. Tad has been loving the food - lots and lots and lots of seafood. Fish of who knows what kind, calamari, shrimp and I don't even know what all. Not something we eat at home typically as I don't eat any seafood. I think he has had it for almost every meal. Our hotel has one of the best seafood restaurants in town (so they say) - that's also the one that has pasta, so luckily I'm able to eat too. Yesterday we found a restaurant that served grilled steak -or so they said, it was actually a pork chop. We also tried eating a hamburger and french fries once at a fast food restaurant and Tad took one bite and said we're leaving. It was actually about the scariest looking thing and the fries were ice cold! I mean like refrigerated cold. Nasty. We found a pizza place that makes pizza with slices of salami - it's pretty good.

I have tons and tons of pictures from the orphanage today - I will post them later. They are of all the kids on Will's floor. Some of them are hard to get pictures of as they don't like them, others love having their pictures taken. If anyone gets referred a child from Vlora I'll have lots of pictures to send to them. I took a bunch of videos too. We brought a slinky and some bubbles there today which all the kids seemed to like.

Yesterday when we came there were about 4 kids left -actually the same 4 that are pretty much always separate from the larger group - Will, Jenny, Emi & Hava. The other kids color and stuff in the one room, not these four. So yesterday, as near as I can tell, all the other kids went to a playground somewhere, and as it seems to us, the "problem" kids got left behind. Maybe we are wrong and Will was left as they figured we'd come to see him, although I had told them earlier in the week that I wanted him to go with to the playground so I'm not sure what's up with that.

All the kids got haircuts yesterday -if I hadn't known before which were boys and which were girls (especially as their are no "boys" or "girls" clothes -they all wear the same clothes), I would have thought they were all boys I think. They pretty much all got it cut short. They look cute though.

I guess the other family had their court date yesterday for the little girl they are adopting. I'm assuming it went well, however we haven't seen them since Saturday, which is kind of weird. It's just not that big of a place. Hopefully we will see them again tomorrow.

Well, we have taken a number of videos and had a lot of people (many of which are professionals) review them. Most recently we heard back from our pediatrician at the International Adoption Clinic at the University of MN. He obviously works with adopted children and has seen a number of them from eastern Europe. He has reviewed all the videos and the information that I've relayed to him about what I've seen since being here and his opinion is that he is very concerned as the behavior is very consistent with that of autism, and says that we shouldn't proceed if we feel that we cannot parent a child with autism. He said we need to seriously consider whether or not we feel we have the resources to parent a child that would be an enormous amount of work, be an enormous time commitment and have little positive feedback from the child.

So, that was pretty great to hear. Not. We had been very clear with Bethany from the start that we were looking to adopt a healthy child, and that minor correctable types of needs (eyes, hearing, etc.) were fine. We fully expected that any child raised in an orphanage will have a number of delays. We relied upon the information provided by Bethany that described him as a healthy child, friendly, sociable and that outlined things that he could do (point to body parts, play with toys, play among other children, write with a pencil, etc.) This information was as recent as September and was signed by the doctor that Bethany has on staff in Albania. I even specifically asked our social worker before we left to make sure that no one thought he had any problems other than typical cognitive/developmental delays for any orphanage children.

Bethany does an extremely thorough job of screening prospective parents. We were looked into for pretty much everything you can think of - income, our thoughts, our past history, medical, our families, etc. etc. etc. We specifically chose a large, well-respected company as we wanted to ensure that we had a trustworthy organization to work with. We wanted a company that has a presence in the country we were choosing to adopt from as well, as opposed to one that doesn't - we figured it was one more way to safeguard the whole process.

We worked like crazy over the past year and a half to be able to pay the costs upfront so that when we came home with our son, we'd be able to enjoy life with him, not be saddled with a large debt to pay off. Tad has worked more hours a week in this past year than alot of people work in three, so that we could afford to take the required TWO MONTHS off from work, and again, pay our bills and travel costs up front so as not to come home and be stuck with the bills. I've put all my clients on hold, which will require starting from scratch with them, as of course they can't wait to have appraisals done, they move on to the next available appraiser. The business we've built over the past 4 years will be back to where we were in the beginning. Again, as we told Bethany we were working a ton so that when we got home, we could have normal schedules and spend time together as a family.

To adopt Will would mean that I for sure could not work. He will absolutely require full time care. Additionally, there is no way that one person could handle him and not go completely crazy, so we'd have to hire help. There would of course be tons of therapy/medical expenses. Tad would need to continue to work around the clock to support a family that he would never see. I would never see him, he would never be able to be with Will. He would be bitter that all he does it work, and I would be bitter that all I do is care for our child with little positive feedback (as the doctor said).

Tad's health could not take that sort of work schedule for the next umpteen years. I know his doctors at Mayo would say the same thing. And what if something happened to him? He has always told me that he will need heart surgery again -he won't be able to work after that for who knows how long - how would that work? Then we'd have three people living on no income.

Will needs a family that can accept that he will likely need a lot of help. Maybe someone younger than us would be good -we're 41, what if in 20-25 years he's still very much a child -we'll be nearing retirement, how will we take care of him full-time then? If it takes us 10 years to get used to all the care he needs, we'd be well past the point where we could have other children too.

I don't know, maybe this is all trying to justify it, this has been no easy decision. We are pretty much heartbroken about the whole thing and there is no winning. We either take him, which we know we can't afford physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially, or we leave him, which will be crushing. I don't know how we get over this. Bethany is of course, not accepting any blame or fault, which doesn't help either. Alma, another of the Bethany reps here, actually said that we shouldn't have expected him to be OK from the information that was sent. What???

Bob, one of the houseparents in Tirana, has told us that he doesn't think that Will is OK. The workers at the orphanage think he's not OK too. We've met a lady who works for the Italian equivalent of Bethany who knows all the kids too, and she knows he's not OK. Albana who works with Hope for the World has said she knows he's not OK. The director of the orphanage (Olta) also has said so. So that means that pretty much everyone knows that this poor little boy was not a healthy child. Why Agim & Bob wrote a report saying that he was "normal" is anyone's guess. Who knows who at Bethany knew what. Someone needs to take some responsibility though. It has put us in a situation that I would not wish on anyone. This is the absolute worst. I hope hope hope that no other family ever goes through this -I seriously cannot for the life of me, see how to ever come to terms with this.

Someone from Bethany (Bob, Alma, etc.) calls everyday to ask how we are doing -well, guess what, we're not doing well. What are we supposed to say? And let's think about this -what happens with all the money we have invested in this? Are we just supposed to walk away from that? Are we supposed to trust Bethany again, to start over? And now we have wasted 1 1/2 years on this, we're not getting younger. Can we please catch a break?

While we have been here our dog Griff died too, which is devastating too. We are just not meant to be here I guess. We'll come home to miss our dog, and have a bedroom filled with things for a child we don't have, and then what? Think and wonder and second guess about whether or not we did the right thing forever? This sucks sucks sucks.

Tad had been insisting that he wanted Will seen by a specialist, someone that was trained by American standards (there are some of these pediatricians in Tirana for the Americans living here). He had been asking for a week and no one from Bethany made any calls. Tad told them they had until yesterday (so 9 days since he had starting telling them he wanted it) morning to get it set up. They never called to set anything up until yesterday afternoon, by which time Tad had already told them forget it. At this point we pretty much don't trust anything coming from Bethany. He had asked for a doctor to look at his ears and we finally had one a doctor show up last Friday who said he was healthy physically (which we already knew) but that he wasn't qualified to assess him mentally (again, which we knew). His hearing, by the way, appears to be fine. We've tried tiptoeing and sneaking and whatnot and he always turns to look - he is good at ignoring I guess. His eyes are also much better than I originally thought - it's when he gets really tired that they roll and cross more. Most of the time they are actually pretty good. He is an adorable little boy, very cute and it is going to be gutwrenching to walk out of that orphanage tomorrow after saying goodbye.

We are planning on send care packages of toys and clothes to Bledi (spelling?) at our hotel and have him bring them to Will and the other kids at the orphanage. We are going to have Keti (the lady from the internet that works for the Italian adoption group) who already knows him, keep an eye on him and help him when she can. Ideally we will somehow figure out how to send additional money for his care to her. One of the other caregivers (Antonela) also said that she would be willing to do whatever she can for him. I don't know what else we can do.

We've got our return flights booked for Thursday via Vienna and Chicago. I guess we come home and try to put the pieces back together and hope for the best for Will and for us. Thanks to everyone for all the support before, during and I'm sure after we get home.

Help (that being Tad) is on the way!

Tad comes today – I’m sooooo happy. He should be on his way from Tirana to Vlora right now, and probably get here in about 2 more hours or so. I think we are going to move from the Hotel Pavaresia (PAHV are see ah) to another hotel that is closer to the orphanage and has internet in the rooms. I don’t know what the name of this hotel is yet, maybe Saint Tropez? The rooms are smaller there, and it smells kind of funny, so I’m not liking that so much, but it will be nice to have internet all the time. Or supposedly all the time. It is also right at the bottom of the hill by the orphanage so I won’t be walking a half hour each direction anymore (so much for losing weight). Although most of the restaurants are back where I am now, so maybe we’ll be walking for that.

I’ve included some pictures of most of the kids in Will’s age group. They all seem to be very sweet kids, and you can tell they just want attention. I can’t believe that the caregivers will just lock them in the room and let them do whatever. There is one wall that is basically shelves all the way up from the bottom to the top and today when I was there, one of the little girls decided to climb the wall. She’s about 3 maybe, and was about 4 feet off the (concrete) floor and still climbing when I came in. They’ve all got bumps and bruises on them pretty constantly, I get the feeling they fall, run into things or whatnot fairly often. Will had a bloody nose when I came yesterday, and when I went to look at it and see if he was OK, he head butted me and gave me a bloody lip. None of the other kids even batted an eye, so I think it must be a routine sight.

It’s warm again today, I’d say high 60’s or low 70’s. It gets pretty chilly at night though. I forgot a coat so when I’ve been at the internet café in the evenings, I’m actually kind of cold. It has been sunny every day this week and no rain. I hear that it snowed at home and when I looked at the temperature it said it was 27 degrees. Can’t say I miss that.

Cydil, the people at the internet café remember you and your husband. They asked how Elisona is doing and I showed them your blog – they were glad to see her and say she looks very happy! From what they were telling me, it sounds like the wife works for maybe the Italian equivalent of Bethany – how weird is that? I guess Vlora is a pretty small in some ways. Did you talk to them much?

Vlora is a regular city, however you will randomly see goats, chickens, turkeys and cows walking around by the orphanage. You’ll also see cats (and from the looks of them they are wild) and dogs (same, pretty mangy looking) walking around with the chickens and turkeys – I’d think they’d be trying to catch them. Maybe they peck them? The animals are all scrounging for food. Some of the dogs look like they are maybe blind –the eyes are all cloudy. Some of the cats look like they have been in a lot of fights and are missing an eye or an ear. This is a tough place for animals. I have a hard time feeling sorry for the dogs right now as they are still barking EVERY night and keeping me up for hours on end. Maybe that will be different at the other hotel.

I took Will out in the little playground at the orphanage today. He wore the pink boots again. The kids can’t really walk well in shoes –I suppose they pretty much never have them on. Well, and I think they are the wrong size. He didn’t like the playground stuff, but kind of seemed to like walking through the weeds. They don’t have a lawn mower so it’s pretty high. I didn’t let him do that much though because yesterday I saw a rat in the grass (not at the orphanage, but near it) and I don’t want to see another. I think maybe there are rats because there is kind of a lot of garbage all over. Remind me to thank our garbage men when I get home.

Will is generally calmer when he is not around people. And I think maybe he is at his worst around other kids, which you would think would be the opposite. When I’ve brought him in the one room that has some toys, he doesn’t really have any interest in the toys. He is much more interesting in opening and closing the door, moving furniture or sitting and rocking. The toys, he’ll hold for less than a minute maybe, and then throw them. Yesterday he actually picked one up and kind of looked at it a bit before throwing it though. I’m having a hard time knowing if something is wrong or if he is a stubborn little imp that wants his own way?

I know that some of the medical records information that I’ve been given is wrong. For example there are conflicting dates on his birthdate, date of when he came to the orphanage, and one of the forms that has a signature stamp of a doctor, apparently isn’t in that doctor’s handwriting. There is also conflicting information about his health history like previous illnesses, etc. At what weight are babies considered premature in the U.S? Any idea how long a 4.4 pound baby would typically be in the hospital? Is that very small? How about 5.95 pounds? Alma told me the other day that most babies in Albania are in the hospital for at least a month after birth – but then I heard last night that it’s only a couple days –just like at home, longer if something is wrong. How do you know who to believe?

I’m at the internet café right now but the internet is not working and I can’t actually post this until after it comes back up. As it is 1:50 and the power goes out at 2 for a couple hours, I most likely won’t get this posted until later tonight, assuming it comes back up then.

I’m off to the hotel to wait for Tad!!!

What day is it?

I'm losing track of the days, not sure what day it is anymore. I know Tad comes soon and I can't wait for that. He leaves tomorrow and arrives the next day - he won't stay over in Tirana like I did, but will be brought straight down. I'm glad - it's been a long week.

Today Will & I went for a walk with the other couple and the little girl they are adopting. Went do to the beach at the bottom of the hill. I actually got to hold him while sitting for a couple of minutes, without him fighting against me the whole time. The orphanage staff bundles these kids up more for an outing in the 60's than some parents do in Minnesota in the winter. They wanted him to wear a snowmobile type suit. We went with a puffy red coat and little pink boots. They didn't really fit and I'm sure they must have been uncomfortable.

I don't know what to think about his condition and the things I have been hearing and seeing. I do know that Tad is doing everything he can on his end to find out what he can. I don't even want to think about it anymore. I am going to walk to the orphanage, twice a day and play like I've been doing and hope I have an overactive and paranoid imagination.

Hope all is well back home. Linds, it sounds like Tad has not gone to the bank or dealt with any mail stuff, so if you guys could do it that would be great. Did the signature stamps show up? I'm going to bed.

Griff

Mom -make Griff mind you when you walk him -please do not let him run and pull you -he's too big for that and he will absolutely walk by your side if you tell him to. He will walk by my side and not pull at all because he knows better.

Monday morning

Went to the orphanage this morning and took some videos. I'm trying to put them on YouTube so that you can see them, but I'm having trouble with that. If anyone knows how to do that, let me know. I've created an account and gone through the steps to upload (and they are only like 3-5 minutes long) but they don't seem to upload -I don't know if it is a slow connection or what.

Tad says I need to find myself an interpreter to come with me over to the orphanage so that I can ask questions. It doesn't appear that some of the information that we were given about Will is accurate. For example, there is no way he is pointing to body parts. They said he could also make lines or scribbles on a paper, I don't see that. Today when I came, they had pretty much all the kids in a kind of classroom coloring and doing a little art project, but Will was not one of them. I tried to get him to color later but when I put the crayon in his hand it's like he just goes limp, doesn't want anything to do with it. I try to point to pictures in books, or the family pictures I brought, and he won't even look -just grabs it and throws it.

I can't really see how/if he plays with other kids either. When I get there, Will & I usually go in a separate room for awhile, when I come back down the hall to see the other kids they are typically shut in another room kind of left to their own devices with no adults in there. So I try to go in and see how he is with just me and the other kids, but then it's like the ladies think they should be in there too so they come in and I can't tell. Also, I can' t just put him in there with the other kids as it's like as soon as they see that I am looking they try to be interacting with the kids instead of sitting in their area chatting. I want to see him by himself with kids and I haven't seen that.

I've tried to read things to him, or point things out but he has no interest. I am worried. Alma from Bethany tells me this is normal delays (she called today, and she speaks English), but it seems that other kids that appear to be about his age aren't like that? I also talked to her about how he won't even let me sit down with him if other people are around, I told her I was concerned about flying home, clearly he will need to be able to sit down for a flight. A 9.5 hour flight no less. She says he'd be fine, he just knows these people so that's why he won't sit with me. I don't know what to believe/think/feel.

Skype is not so good for communicating sometimes. Tad can usually hear me, but I cannot hear him most of the time. I don't know if it is a problem with his microphone, or what. I guess we should have taken more time to figure it out before I left.

The other couple from the U.S. arrived in Vlora today -I'm kind of confused about that too, as their court date is the same as ours, so why did I need to be here earlier than they did? They are also booked to come home in early December? It is very hard as we get confusing information on many things.

I'm going to go try to find an interpreter now that can go with me to the orphanage. That should be easy. The power just went out for the normal afternoon shut off, so I'd better run.